Without Me, Its Just Aweso: We both know that you are the life of the party -- but does the rest of the party know this? Do they know that last week you drank an entire bottle of Cuervo, walked over to the TV to start humping it, passed out in mid-stride, and crashed your head into the screen and had to go to the hospital after losing almost a pint of blood?Sex: Do It For The Kids: Listen up, America. There needs to be a lot more doin it. A lot more love making. A lot more of the old no-pants-dance. Sure its really easy to get pregnant, but its also really easy to not get pregnant. So wear those condoms, swallow those birth control pills, and keep on porkin. For the kids.Original Gangsta: Back in the day we used to shoot 8-bit ducks just for fun. Hows that for hardcore?Pierce & Pierce: This shirt will have all your friends thinking:
Jagshemash: Hello. This shirt is the funny in US America. We hope you like it good. Bye bye.Ya Herd: Oddly enough this shirt is printed on cotton.Sparrow is My Co-Pirate: Because its just unsafe to manage large ghost ships by yourself.Fantasy Football: How do you think Harry Potter would do in fantasy football? Hed probably cast some sort of spell to get the first pick, but waste it on a quarterback.
HIGH SCHOOL: Remember when wearing I Beer Beer: The more you drink, the more this shirt makes sense.Amish: Dont Drink or Drive: If you know any Amish people, then youll probably have to get this for them. Chances are, they dont know about the internet yet. Racquetball: Because Squash is for losers.
Dont Stop Believin: Hold on to that feeling...I Keg Stand: Warning: Dont put this shirt on up side down, it will ruin the joke.Does This Shirt Make Me Look Frat: No, your tattoo does.Dont Hassle the Hoff: Its rare to see a shirt dispense such invaluable advice, but this is one of them.
The Notebook: You may want to rent the DVD just in case they quiz you on major plot points before making out.Prose Before Hos: And heres another thing. Ya know that cute girl in your english class that youve been trying to impress? This shirt should do the trick. It shows youre smart and clever while making sure she knows youve got a sense of humor too. Place your order on a Monday, get the shirt on a Thursday, wear it to class on Friday and ask her out for Saturday. After that, welcome to Pantyville, population: you.Gore in 08: Re-elect Gore to the Presidency of the United States! He got more votes in 2000, he stood against the war in Iraq, and he was the charismatic star of An Inconvenient Truth. Let people know he is your guy to save the Presidency and our fragile earth.Cheney in 08: He says he wont run but the adorable VP needs another 4 years. Let him know you support him for President in 2008. And this time he wont have Bush Jr. holding him back!
I Choo Choo Choose You: In the future trains will choose people and not the other way around.Wyoming: Who Cares: Is a shirt still offensive when it only offends 515,004 people (according to a recent census)?Dick in a Box: To all the fellas out there with ladies to impress, its easy to do, just follow these steps.Irish I were Drunk: While none of our shirts are magically delicious, this one comes the closest.
GA Shirt: When youre organizing your social calendar because of all the dates that this shirt will get you, make sure that none of them are on Thursday at 9pm. It may ruin the façade.Leave Lindsay A-Lohan: Celebrities are just like us, they need privacy... and 100% cotton t-shirts made in sweatshop free environments.More Cowbell: Because less cowbell would result in less cowbell.Push It (Push It Real Good): Spend your allowance money on this to remind yourself of your roots.
Thats What She Said!: This is so nice... soft... and comfortable...Shit Happens: Depression, as currently defined by the American Psychological Association Journal, can be traced back to this specific situation.Where My Dogs At?: Everybody knows that the cutest dogs are orange flavored.I Dyslexia Heart: For an added joke, wear this t-shirt backwards.
Finders Keepers: This is an intergalactic Thats How I Roll: A 20-sided die is called an Icosahedron. You try making a pun out of that though.This Is Why Im Hot: An inconvenient shirt.Canada: Americas Hat: Thats what you get for being geographically located above us, suckers! Stay tuned for Mexico: Americas Beard.
Jesse and the Rippers: Wear this shirt for free admission at the Smash Club.Yoga is for Posers: Ugh, I was into yoga way before ancient peoples discovered the restorative powers of meditation combined with stretching. Blimpin Aint Easy: Oh the humani-t-shirt.New Mexico: Cleaner Than Regular Mexico: Spring Break 2002: Cancun. You remember it as if it were just a couple of years ago. Now its time you get your revenge on Montezuma by wearing this shirt...
Shift Happens: ...however, in this sentence, shift didnt happen. BUT IT DID IN THIS ONE!!!1George Bush: They say he only has a year left, too. Friends Dial Drunk: Sponsored by Mothers Against Drunk DialersSoccer: Warning: This shirt makes less sense in Europe.
Time Flies: This t-shirt was all the rage in Hill Valley in 1955. Before the lightning storm.Suits Suck: You already agree with this statement if youre shopping around for t-shirts. Viva La Evolución: Remember the evolutionary war? The red-shirts are coming!Mexican Basketball Association: Juan on Juan: Does Mexico have an official basketball league? And if they did, would the players wear sombreros as they dribbled down the court? My guess as to the answer of those questions would have to be
Guitar Hero: Wear this shirt and youll always have star power. Jakkass: Lookin good, you seven card stud, you.Not Like Me: Dont you wish your girlfriend wasnt a FREAK like me.Oh Snap: Twenty years later scientists still have no idea how these things worked...
756: Hank Aaron never used illegal substances. Hell, he didnt even take vitamins. Said they were ruining the game... Mac Daddy: Hey, if it can play Oregon Trail, its all right by me.Thrift Store - BT Refurbished: I went shopping online for clothes and all I got was this AWESOME SHIRT! Computers: Wave of the Future: Used to be if you needed to check your email you would use punch cards. Imagine that!
South Koreas Got Seoul: Ill be the first to admit there were some pretty awful shirt ideas tossed out the night we thought of this gem. I mean, terrible stuff. Like McLovin: You are McLovin. Nuke The Whales: Recipe For Disaster: A shirt so good itll make your head explode.
Miss South Carolina: Margarine: Like Butter: I cant believe its not expensive!Faux-Paw: Everybody knows making fun of a three legged dog is socially unacceptable.Iraq, You Break: The perfect shirt for your Baghdad billiard league.
Capitalist Pig: Great thing about this shirt is that people may throw coins at you.Hungry Hungry Hippo: When we were tossing around how this obviously brilliant shirt idea would manifest itself on a piece of fabric, Jake suggested that the hippo should be leaning over a toilet vomiting white marble balls. Im glad we didnt go with that.Dont Tase Me Bro: STOP!!! IS NOBODY ELSE SEEING THIS SHIRT?!Rock Paper Scissors: What did Rock say to Paper? Beats me!
Springfield Isotopes: Show your love for the greatest AA Baseball team since the New Britain Rock Cats.The Beets: Any Doug fan will find this shirt very Funnie.Final Countdown: Approved by The Magicians AlliancePog Champion: Ah yes, 1993... before the game was polluted with slammers, whammers, and other banned substances. You were a true champion.
Indiana Pwns: N00bs. Why did it have to be n00bs?!Missouri Loves Company: Damn this shirt looks fuckin good. Doesnt it? Sometimes we take for granted how well our states really are united. Sure, Ohio State and Michigan are football rivals and the New York Yankess are hated by, well, the other 49 states in the Union. But, overall, we get along pretty well as neighbors. And thats why I like this shirt- everybody wins.Boring (NASCAR): Have you ever been to a NASCAR race? Ever seen one on TV? This shirt goes out to everyone who has unwillingly watched cars go around in a circle for over two hours straight.Everybody Loves Ramen: Some people may argue its too predictable for their taste.
Fuck Wingdings: This t-shirt is symbolic.Hilary 08: Its time we face the facts America: WE ARE READY FOR A FEMALE (TEENAGE SUPERSTAR) PRESIDENT!Centaur of Attention: This T-shirt is half amazing half hilarious.Jake and Amir: All proceeds from this shirt go to buying Jake the phatest present ever. Its like this Ferrari poster, but its framed. Its really sick. So. For more information check out JakeAndAmir.com
Triple Nerd Score: If playing a crossword puzzle boardgame is nerdy, well then, I dont wanna be cool!One Ring to Rule them All: One ring to rule them all, one ring to fry them.Brohemian Rhapsody: Brotherhoods for ever, anyone can see... See the video on CollegeHumor Yo Mama: He was the father of modern insults, too.
We Built This City: Rock and Roll is a great foundation.I Gave My Word To Stop At Third: I didnt see a vagina up-close until I was 18. Today, at 22, Ive seen at least seven of them. My name is Jakob Lodwick, and I sell T-shirts.Happy Festivus: A shirt for the rest of us.Where You At?: Good shirts are hard to find.
Defunker: Ah-Hoy Matey: Designed by David TrawinDefunker: Above: True story: This was originally the design for the American Flag and lost narrowly to the ole stars and stripes we use today!Cup Chicks: 2 girls. 1 dream.Defunker: Adlib Society: Metaphorical allegory on overpopulation and urban sprawl? Or a crappy police sketch artist representation of the most gruesome scene hes ever witnessed? Either way this shirt goes really well with jeans.
Defunker: Stripe-O-Rama: Stripe-O-Rama by APBDefunker: Superhomosexual: By SeibeiI French Kissed Kelly Kapowski: Some people are saved by a near-death experience; others by their personal lord and savior, for example, Jesus Christ. The rest of us, of course, are Saved by the Bell.Defunker: Apocalypse: If you like orange sherbert and/or nuclear holocausts, this is the shirt for you. (Sidenote: Orange Sherbert Holocaust is a new Ben and Jerrys flavor set to debut in spring 08!)
Defunker: Big City Life: Im starting a traffic jam band. We play Phish songs with car horns.Defunker: Bears!: Do not feed the bears. Unless you are a mother bear. In which case, please feed and nurture them.Defunker: Broke: Defunker: BSA:
Defunker: Call Button: Unfortunately, this plane is going down in flames because the passenger in seat 12C turned on their cell phone mid-flight.Defunker: Popcorn: Did you know, before popcorn, people used to eat deviled eggs in movie theatres? Its a good thing we didnt have t-shirts back then or they would have been ugly!Defunker: Clouds: If youre driving down the highway with your girlfriend, a really cute thing to do when you pass a smokestack is to naively ask her if that building is a Defunker: Pheonix:
Defunker: Perched Birds: Defunker: Panther: Defunker: Octorock: Defunker: Eyeleeves: Do you see the profile of a woman, or a woman with a lot of hair? Exactly-- you can wear this shirt twice as often other shirts and save money on laundry!
Defunker: Get Off: his shirt is awesome looking, just dont wear it to the bank, especially with that near-sighted teller working there now.Defunker: Girl Explosion: Note: the exploding girl on this t-shirt is not, we repeat, is not a third grade school photo of world famous actress Selma Hayek.Defunker: Mary-Annette: Defunker: Lunch Break:
Defunker: Gun: Defunker: Lumber Hunters: Because relationships are a marathon, not a sprint.Defunker: Kitsch: Defunker: Console: The story : Donkey Kong has stolen Marios girlfriend and taken her to the top of a steel structure. You move Mario over girders and up ladders, leap over tumbling barrels, dodge lethal fireballs and jump onto fast-moving elevators, trying to rescue Marios girlfriend from Donkey Kong.
Long Distance Relationship: Because relationships are a marathon, not a sprint.Wake and Bake: This is some quality shirt right here, man.X-Mas: Feel this shirt... its so soft.Hawaii: The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters and 1 pun.
Punching Game: A good t-shirt to wear in the capital of Thailand. Die Hard: This shirt has definite star power.Speaker City: We definitely dont need a description for this. If you get it, youll buy it. If you dont, you wont.Defunker: Worthless: This shirt only costs about 40 phone calls. And you dont have to touch a dirty phone!
SharpShirter: Akai Attack: Finally, a shirt with THIS GUY on it! by Sharp ShirterSharpShirter: Bring It: This is the worlds unfunniest Calvin and Hobbes. by Sharp ShirterSanta is Coming!: You better watch out, you better not cry. Better not pout, Im telling you why: Santa Claus is coming (to town!). See, youre the pervert- not us.Defunker: Goby: Scare away anyone wearing a salmon tee. by Too Much Metal for One Hand
Noahs Arcade: Its cool, its hip, its the Noah Arcade t-shirt. Not a Crook: President Nixon actually preferred the Whopper.Outstanding in his Field: This scarecrow also won the Nobel Prize for PhysicsDefunker: Deathstar: The Empire strikes back, but they sure dont design space-stations well.
Car Ramrod: Say it! Say Car Ramrod!Lightning Bolt: Will you be my Valentine?Mo Money Mo Pizza: Also available in a cheese-filled ringer.Sunglasses: When wearing this shirt there are no apologies necessary. Watch the video on Todays Big Thing
Carcetti for Mayor: Its a new day in Baltimore.Virginity is for Losers: Save this shirt for marriage.Ask Me About Dinosaurs: Specifically those in the Archosauromorpha Infraclass.Callahan Auto Parts: Fat guy in a little shirt.
United We Stand: For all you Jenga fans...18-1: This shirt preserves the memory of the thousands of Fantasy Baseball: This wizard has never used performance-enhancing spells.Cracka Please: Polly want a t-shirt?Inspired by our friend Mike Birbiglia
Prague: Poor Slovakia...San Dimas High School Football: Wearing this shirt at a presentation will result in an A+Vandelay Industries: The shirt store called and theyre running out of you!Mexico: Americas Beard: We had this shirt made in LA as a double-slap in the face.
Animal Pharm: LudaFish: Sushi roll out. Animal Pharm, by Patrick MobergAnimal Pharm: TimbaLamb: Ironically, this shirt contains no wool. Although it was conceived by a lamb. Animal Pharm, by Patrick MobergAnimal Pharm: OutKats: Im sorry Ms. Jackson, I am four-legged. Animal Pharm, by Patrick MobergAnimal Pharm: MooTang Clan: The only hip-hop group considered sacred by Hindus. Animal Pharm, by Patrick Moberg
Mr. Plow: That name again is Mr. Plow.WWF: These Panda Bears are wrestling. Thats the joke. Our designer never actually got the memo.Client 9: Other ideas for this shirt included:Spitzer SwallowsGovernor ErectRing-LeaderFree Love GovMissy ElliotTapped That AssGo Ape: Brains: If I only had a shirt...by Go Ape Shirts
Go Ape: Hans Guitar Solo: Rockin out aint like dusting crops, boy.by Go Ape ShirtsGo Ape: Shredder: Scenes from the short lived sequel: Teenage Mutant Paper Turtles.by Go Ape ShirtsGo Ape: Persistence of Rock: Stop Carlos Mencia: Finally, a shirt everybody but Carlos Mencia can get behind.
I Drink Your Milkshake: Ladies and Gentleman. If I say Im a t-shirt man, you will agree.Future is in Your Hands: Pick a color. Okay... now pick a size. Great, youre halfway towards buying one of these shirts.Were #1: The fact that this shirt is printed on American Apparel is the final insult.Player Hater: Dont hate the player, hate the game.
Binford Tools: Finally a shirt with more power.Viva La Evolución Poster: Remember the evolutionary war? The red-shirts are coming! And yes, we realize that joke only works with a shirt.Practice Safe Lunch: Use a Condiment: Gently unroll the condiment all the way down to the base of the sandwich. If you dont get it on the first time, throw the condiment away and start again.Periodic Table of Vulgarity: CollegeHumors Periodic Table of Vulgarity
Blow Me Poster: Because Never Forget Poster: There are many theories behind the sudden mass extinction of dinosaurs 65 million years ago: asteroid attack, environmental changes, terrorism. But we will never know for sure... The Beets Tour Poster: Any Doug fan will find this poster very Funnie.Id Hit That Poster: Any Donkey is a pinata, if you like donkey meat enough.
Jesus Hates the Yankees Poster: When we think of the phrase Jesse and The Rippers Tour Poster: Buy this poster for free admission at the Smash Club.Your Mom: Tattoos come and go, but T-shirts last forever.Do You Smell What Barack is Cooking: Sorry, Im already writing in Y2J.
Epilepsy: Seize the Day: Carpe T-Shirt!The Price is Wrong Bitch: Drew Carey would never be able to knock Adam Sandler out the way Barker could.British People: Mind the Gap: Dont be caught wearing this hog blanket on the tube south of swindon or youll be in for a ripe bludgeoning, you will.FTW: For those of you in Japan, this shirt will be soon available in FTL as well.
Goodbye Cruel World: Hang in there... theres still time to buy a vowel.Lousy T-Shirt: Its funny because its true!I Heart Accuracy: Wear your heart near your sleeve.Kramerica: I don’t care about the internship. I care about Kramerica.
Rirruto: Fine, how about a t-shirt with the word Obscure Band: It was either this or Rare: This is probably our freshest shirt ever.Mommy Drank: Buy yours today! ...God knows she wont...
F1rst: The original human race...Second Amendment: Amendment I The right to free speech. Amendment II The right to bear arms. Amendment III The right to buy t-shirts that your 10th grade social studies teacher would find hilarious. Earthquakes Not My Fault: A truly ground-breaking t-shirt.Well Do It Live: And after you buy this... Sting is going to play us out.
Im Breaking the First Rule of Fight Club: Printed on black to hide the blood stains.Cymbal and Ready to Mymbal: For those who love cymbalism.Just Say No to Hard Drugs: Support the U.S. War on Hard Drugs.No Maam: For those members of the National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood.
Too Legit to Quit: Remember kids, when it comes to cigarettes: You cant touch this.Viva La Revolution: This shirt is very coup.I Am Away From My Computer Right Now: I Am Away From My Computer Right NowDrive Shaft: You All Everybody.
someecards: No STDs: Because theres nothing people love more than a clean bill of health and a funny shirt.someecards: Fuck Me: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, whos the pimpest of them all?someecards: Four Figures: This may not seem a lot, but lets just say one of them is someecards: Out of Control: For those who plan on pulling some tail tonight.
someecards: Terrified Offline: But its safer than bringing my computer under water...someecards: Complete Stranger: If you cant make out my shirt then at least make out my lips.someecards: Shoot the Leg: But only because I want to see you bleed to death.someecards: Blast My Pecs: Buy this shirt a size too small to make it more believable!
I Heart Heart Heart Polygamy: For those truly three-of-a-kind women in your life.Enough LaBeouf: Enough LaBeoufBorophyll: More like ChlorophyllFree Tibet: This shirt not valid in China.
Reptar on Ice: Reptar on IceGood-Bye Elliot: E.T. Pwn3d home.BRB: BRB actually stands for Boomerang Right Back in AustraliaTeam Building Exercise 99: Wear this shirt during business time.
Tequila: I only drink on days that start with S.Initech: For bonus points, wear this to your next Michael Bolton concert.Most Deadly: Much more popular than our Its Called Beer Pong: Disagree?
Its Called Beirut: Disagree? Check outBanga Topanga: Dont worry. We wont tell Corey.Gun Holster: Lets see those fools at the nintendo airport arrest you now!Save Darfur: Dont people know Australia when they see it?
Werewolf Barmitzvah: Boys becoming men, men becoming wolves. Wolves that buy shirts.Spelling Champoin: This shirt won a regional irony championship in 1992 as well. Mutt Cutts: Its the Shaggin Wagon T-shirt. Chicks love it.18-1 Poster: This poster preserves the memory of the thousands of
Sexile Contract Poster: To seem like less of a creep, maybe wait until Day 2 before forcing your roommate to sign this.Bob Marley Poster: If anybody is confused, just tell them its a placeholder.Schematics of the Death Star Poster: The Empire strikes back, but they sure dont design space-stations well.SharpShirter: Electrobug: SharpShirter: Electrobug
SharpShirter: Mic Bunny: SharpShirter: Mic BunnySharpShirter: Transphoner: SharpShirter: TransphonerParis/Rhianna 08: Paris/Rhianna 08Jersey Girls Aint Trash (trash gets picked up): To any Jersey girls out there, no need reading that parenthetical aside... those are for losers from New York and Connecticut to worry about.
Youre Handsome: Absolutely brilliant. People will look at you and be like someecards: Dry Hump: Get your motor runnin!someecards: Googling Myself: Youre wearing what were all thinking.someecards: Sexual Predator: Instantly disarm any prey with this innocuous shirt.
someecards: Whitest Thing: Wear the whitest thing imaginable.someecards: Being Myself: No apologies necessary.someecards: Outdoorsy: Ladies of grace love an outdoorsman.someecards: Rock Stars: Chicks dig guitar heros.
someecards: Conversation: Talk about a great shirt.Boogie Til You Puke: Dance like nobodys watching you puke.Malibu Sands: Better buy this shirt quickly, Mr. Kerosi is going to be on your ass.You Have Died of Dysentery: You bought 1350 lbs of this shirt but you can only carry 200 back to the wagon.
This One Goes To 12: ....These go PAST eleven.Analog Retirement: This shirt is also available for downloading as a digital e-shirt. Light Bulb: Together, we can reduce idea pollution.WTF: The duckbilled platypus... mother nature is ROFLMAO right now.
Only Be One: Finally, a reason for Canadians, Mexicans, and Americans to unite!Gods Volcano Project: Hed enter it in the science fair, if science werent an abomination.No Star: Last Summer: Laziness also kills you, just much slower than a maniac.No Star: Mojito, Mo Problems: White blazer and Miami Vice soundtrack not included.
Greece: Heres the funny thing. Even though we put this description on here explaining that we know thats not the flag for Greece and thats the joke, well still get about two or three emails a week telling us that were idiots for mixing up countries.No Star: Burritos: Its whats on the inside that matters.No Star: Bromance: Dude, Im not gay or anything, but youd look hot in this shirt.No Star: Pour, Favor: Do you want to complain about our Spanish skills, or do you want another beer?
No Star: Kevin: Bacon and Kevin Bacon: Either one can stop your heart.No Star: Unlucky: Rabbit, run.No Star: Assman: Ever wonder why Bill Clinton ran as a Democrat?No Star: Keep The Dream Alive: If God wanted us out of bed before noon, he wouldnt have scheduled
No Star: LMAO: What would tick Mao off more? This tee, or the fact that were selling it in a free market?No Star: Animal Testing: If we cant pass basic English, why should they have to?No Star: Fantasy Football Injury: Those waiver wire pickups are brutal.Ithaca Has Gorges: Upstate New York: Its like New York Citys unemployed father.
someecards: Overwhelming: someecards: Overwhelming someecards: Chance of Sex: someecards: Chance of Sex someecards: Voting: Democracy is based on peer pressure. And thats why it works! someecards: Lay Us Off: someecards: Lay Us Off
someecards: Questionable Morals: someecards: Questionable Moralssomeecards: Worst President: This t-shirt also worked when Hoover was in office. Camping Is Intents: Get it? Intense? In ... tents? Camping can also be done in cabins but thats not as punny.someecards: Birth Control: We thought couples just rubbed noses that far north.
Why So Syria: And you thought Gotham was a grim place.Concord: Its humid summers and early presidential primaries are no match for you.Thug Life: Available in gang-neutral colors.Wash Me: Avoiding doing your laundry will only make this shirt better.
Toaster Love: Shes hot for him.Fight Me Im Irish: Dont let the rainbows and river dancing fool you.Palin/Plumber 2012: This phrase doubles as the title of the worst sci-fi porno in movie history.Yes We Did: A Change of clothing.
Were #1 America: Anyone who doesnt agree with this shirt probably wont realize it.Stonecutters: Who controls the British Crown? Who keeps the metric system down? YOU DO.Not My Recession: All those hedge fund managers laughed at you for hiding your life savings in a mattress, but whos laughing now?Sad Rhino: That volleyball scholarship was his last chance to leave the Savannah.
Barrel Roll: Our first shirt with Rumble Pak support!someecards: I Cheat At Dreidel: The secret is to play with people who dont know Hebrew. Or English.someecards: Logo: someecards: I Dont Exist: Is Santa being cruel? Or just deeply philosophical?
someecards: Get Healthier: Sometimes protein shakes arent enough. Make Up Sex: Its Worth Fighting For: Buy this for your partner and youll be doing it in no time.Yachts of Fun: Wacht-ever floats your boat!Pillage: Doubles as a fire-blanket that is in no way fireproof.
Defunker: Nosferatu: By Dave TrawinBon Temps: True football.Urban Achievers: Dude, Vimeo: Logo Blue: Hi! Were Vimeo, the coolest video site on the Interwebs. Now we have T-shirts! Yay!
Vimeo: Logo Asphalt: Hi! Were Vimeo, the coolest video site on the Interwebs. Now we have T-shirts! Yay! Vimeo: Flag: Hi! Were Vimeo, the coolest video site on the Interwebs. Now we have T-shirts! Yay! Vimeo: Word Bubble: Hi! Were Vimeo, the coolest video site on the Interwebs. Now we have T-shirts! Yay!Robert E. Lee: Most Likely to Secede: Another piece of trivia for you history buffs: Robert also won other yearbook superlatives including most spirited, most facial hair, and shortest middle name.
Kiss Me Im Desperate: A shirt guaranteed to never see the floor of a girls bedroom. I Want Him: No not you, him.Jerk Store: Lose this shirt at they dry cleaner and complain about it to your friends, just like Jerry.Vintage Vantage: AAAA: Real Americans spell the whole word.
Vintage Vantage: Fool Around: Is it a question or a statement? Who cares, lets make out.Vintage Vantage: For the Birds: Regurgitating your own food into your babies mouths is also for birds, but doesnt have the same ring to it.Vintage Vantage: Mini Van: Finally, soccer moms can wear something other than a Tweety Bird sweatshirt.Visit Cuba! (Some Restrictions Apply): Among the fine print restrictions:
Vintage Vantage: Ninjas: Hey, Tupac would hate ninjas if he werent cryogenically frozen.Vintage Vantage: Oklahoma: Smell that ocean air 300 miles away!Vintage Vantage: Polar Bears: For each shirt we sell, well rescue a polar bear from the receding arctic and release it safely in New York City.Vintage Vantage: Punchline: Thats a lot of build up for such a crappy fruit juice.
Vintage Vantage: Reservations: We cant wait to kick these shirts out of their homes and send them across the country.Vintage Vantage: Safety Third: Wear this instead of a helmet to really prove your point.Vintage Vantage: Smile: Whether youre gay or homophobic, this shirt will clearly identify homosexuals for you to love or hate.Vintage Vantage: Who Loves Burritos: Fighter jets are a lot like Mexican food. Wait, were thinking of tanks.
Desmond is My Constant: Looks great at any time, especially the future.Candy vs. Corn: Corn, apples, canes -- is there anything that isnt better in candy form?Beards: They Grow On You!: As a big fan of puns, I must admit that this is one of the best Ive seen. But this shirt goes beyond a simple joke- its a proven fact. Buy this shirt for a friend with or without a beard. Because laughter is universal!Pedro Lacks Political Experience: This is Summer Wheatly and I approve this t-shirt.
Ghost Catcher: Hes smarter than Egon, funnier than Venkman, and almost yellower than Ray.Bo Knows Obscurity: Bo Jackson used to play two sports. Now he plays three: Shuffleboard, Ping Pong, and Loneliness.Bolo Tie: A real bolo tie would be only marginally more tasteful. someecards: Lame Machines:
someecards: Canadian : And Canada can finally stop pretending its north of Europe.someecards: Designated Driver: Hes three casks over His Majestys legal limit... of nine casks.someecards: Drunk and Scream: This shirt is not advocating drinking, just violence.Reunite Pangea: Together we can change the world. Literally.
Burrnd: Before you feel bad for Alexander Hamilton, keep in mind he was Secretary of the Treasury.Someday: Cinco de Mayo: Q: Como se dice Fortune Cookie:
Venus De Milo: Primary objectives: Kill, crush, evoke aesthetic appreciation from art connoisseurs.Ice Cream: If you love ice cream enough this counts as a grammatically correct sentence.Attendance: Appropriate for any and all fourth most popular New Zealand folk duo band meetings.Virgin: Intercourse -- the final frontier.
Legalize It: We mean gay marriage, not the game of Life -- which should definitely be outlawed.Bikini Inspector: Stop wasting your time freelance bikini inspecting.Unicorn Meat: Rich in protein and enchantment.Swiss Army: This explains why Swiss Army Knives are the smallest knives on earth.
Hil Yes: It was between this and Ace and Jocelyn Movie Poster: If you love this poster say Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah HEY! Mustache: Beard pants sold separately. Or maybe not at all.Mad Props: If you worked for Gallagher, wouldnt you be angry all the time too?
Bovine University: The first choice -- and last stop -- for all of Springfields cows. I Shot The Deputy: But I did not shoot the Sheriff. Oh, Im going to jail anyway?Beethovens Fifth: Ludwig van Beethoven died in 1827 of liver disease. True.Vote Quimby:
Geometry Is For Squares: Technically a square is just an even rectangle, so whos a nerd now?All The Single Ladies: If you liked it then you shouldnt have let it join a convent.Phantom of the Office: Wear it to cover the horrific scars and lacerations you suffered during the Spanish Inquisition.No Star: Booyah: It would be more exciting if booyah was in the dictionary and you could actually use it.
No Star: Liquor is Quicker: But in the race to devastating liver failure, nobody is a winner.No Star: Zoo: Mo Hawk, Mo Problems: Hes crying because he saw litter. Also because his people have been displaced from their homeland.Cool But Rude: Pizza stains not included.
Games Games Games: Fuck Y*u: D*wn with cens*rship!Big Fan: Finally, a shirt to let the world know how much you love puns.Defunker: Rock Out: Defunker: Rock Out
Volunteering: It Doesnt Pay: Not only is this shirt funny, but its also factually correct. Volunteering, by definition, does not pay.Mathletes Foot: Sew three of these together for a giant Mathletes Yardstick shirt.What the Frak: Shirt doubles as a Cylon detector.Bort:
Ive Got Worms: FOR SALE i mean, Ive got worms FOR SALE! Please come back.Anti-Clothes: Crane Game: You win. They lose.Anti-Clothes: Game Over: Anti-Clothes: Pinatas Revenge: Theyre filled with vengeance... and candy.
Anti-Clothes: Vintage: Our mother is a princess: controlling and old-fashioned.Jesus Followers: Hes accepted your Friend Request. Have you accepted Him?Down by the River: La-de-freakin-da. Its our most motivational shirt. Annyong : This shirt is less funny in Korea. Like everything else there.
Champanyah: The next best thing to being Christopher Walken... And isnt that everyones goal?CollegeHumor Poster: CollegeHumor Cast Poster: Ricky, Amir, Streeter, Jeff, Jake, Sarah, Dan, Patrick, and SamI Liked Video Games Before They Were Cool: But NOT before I was lame.Robots in Disguise : This actually works against the universes dumbest Decepticons.
The Ukraine is Weak: Wear near angry Ukrainians at your own risk.Facebook: Where Everybody Knows Your Name: Also like Cheers, funny things happen when people show up drunk.Narsave the Narwhales: An Inconvenient Tooth.Jesus: Eight year-olds, Dude.
Tricky Dick: A magician never reveals his secrets, he just resigns.Save the Rainforest : Ride an excavation machinery specialist.Vintage Vantage: Science: If knowledge is so powerful, how come they dont make atomic bombs out of it?Vintage Vantage: The Internet: The Internet is a mythical land filled with mythical creatures like trolls, trolls and trolls.
Vintage Vantage: Feelings: Its true, and most of those feelings drive him to murder.Vintage Vantage: Thank You Very Little: Ill say it, but I dont mean it.How To Get Laid: Throw in A minor and this might even work after college.I Heart Looking Like A Tourist:
Sweet Home Alabama: A shirt for a State where people prefer not to wear them.Funky Butt Lovin: Rookie of the Year fans will love the homage, and everyone else will love that it says Jesus Hates the Yankees: When we think of the phrase Siht: If you suck enough at reading this becomes offensive.
Mouse Trap: Racecars, Lasers, Airplanes: The original Babe-raham Lincoln: Our sexiest President since Calvin Coolidge got breast implants.Brooks Was Here: So was Red.
someecards: Advertising : If advertising was so awful, why would I listen to it? At all times? Without even thinking?someecards: Liberal Arts: someecards: Manliness: Ill have one burger, two dogs, and a new husband.someecards: Shitty Salary : First lesson: Teachers Pay - Rent = Broke
I Liked Michael Jackson Before He Was Dead: Before he was dead, but after Off The Wall. Those were his golden years. Cougar Hunter: The cougar is a rare breed of female homosapien. Its natural habitats include night clubs that were cool three years ago and the hotel bar inside the Marriott. For more info, consult this field guide.Enchantment Under the Sea: Music! Dancing! Time-space paradoxes!Betelguese: Say its name three times and it goes supernova.
Shuttledick: Stair Car: Brought to you by The Bluth Co.Craig: The rest of you, dont worry about it.Caught em All: I choose you. Sorry.
Captain Canada: Keeping miles of barren snowy wasteland safe.Worlds Greatest Your Moms New Boyfriend: The perfect Youll-Never-Replace-My-Fathers Day gift.You Havent Seen Mad Men?: Something to replace your Big Mistake: After graduating college, my best friend James decided to marry Samantha, his high school sweetheart and girlfriend of six years. I really dont know where this story goes after that because I literally havent heard from him since.
Paleozoic Park: Make Love and War: War is hell and love is a battlefield.Zombie Snooze: Waking the dead.Id Hit That: Any Donkey is a pinata, if you like donkey meat enough.
Imma Let You Finish: We were going to sell a Taylor Swift shirt, but he cut us off.Blow Me: Because Sweatshops: Another Day, Another Dollar: Lets take a second to point out that we print these t-shirts on on sweatshop-free American Apparel brand shirts.DIKFORE: This is our impersonation of anybody who sees your shirt: Hey whats a... Ohhh! Hahaha! Where can I get one! SERIOUSLY! GIMME THE LINK OF THE STORE!
SILF: Wheres the best place to meet a hot sandwich? The club. Baby, I like it rye.Shiksas: Its true, Jewish boys love non-Jewish women. Wear this shirt at your next Seder and watch as your Grandma looks on in disgust and says something terribly racist. What Wouldnt Jesus Do?: The New Testament encourages answering questions with other questions as a means of facilitating conversations. So what better way to fully understand what Jesus would do, than by inquiring what he wouldnt do?Im so Excited...: Oh, Jessie Spano, who knew a woman with such intelligence would sink into a life of drugs. Why couldnt it have been Lisa? She had nothing going for her anyway...
Never Forget: There are many theories behind the sudden mass extinction of dinosaurs 65 million years ago: asteroid attack, environmental changes, terrorism. But we will never know for sure... Party Fowl: You see, the problem is, their small little claws and sharp beaks make spilling that beer inevitable. But gosh, theyre so tasty we can forgive them.Silent but Deadly: The ninjas greatest strength is his stealth and agility. His biggest weakness? Beans.HUMA: All right, from the top of this hay stack, over the stable, off the barn roof, -- Nothing but net.
You Complete Me: The greatest combination of 80s TV and Jerry Maguire since our Stewart/Colbert 08: If Camp Anawanna: Some of us lost our virginity at summer camps, others just lost our iPods... Seriously, if youve seen it let me know.Dont Talk to Strangers: Dont talk to strangers. Unless they offer you candy, in which case, hear them out for a little while until your mom comes to pick you up.
Pizza is the Best: Finally a t-shirt we can all agree on.True story: The original idea for this shirt had cheese baked into the collar.St. Dorothy Mantooth: Saint Dorothy Mantooth gave birth to someone who was the second best at what he does.Paper Airplane Directions: Fly like paper. Get high like planes. Buy this shirt.Adamantium: This only passes for an element in Professor Xs chemistry class.
Cat Person: And you thought people who just owned cats were creepy.UMM YEAH: If this doesnt make sense youre just not hungry enough.Vitruvian Gyroscope: Hyrule Fencing Club: Potential members must slay an inter-dimensional God, or have a guest pass.
Fives : Why was 6 afraid of 7? Who cares, theyre both sitting on the floor.Girlfriends Are Gay: Now boyfriends, thats what real men are into.1 Up: How many Extra Lives is war worth?Gobias Industries: From the entrepreneurs behind the Bluths Frozen Bananas and the Cornballer.
Fat Army Man: Be all you can be. Plus 20 lbs.Tumblr: Faux Logo: Tumblr: Faux LogoTumblr: Logo: Tumblr: LogoTumblr: Tumblrgyle: Tumblr: Tumblrgyle
Tumblr: Reblog Cloud: Tumblr: Reblog CloudJake and Amir: Oh Sheesh Yall: Oh Sheesh YAll, Twas a Dream come true! For Amir, at least. Map Marker Death: Would you like to search Yes We Catan: America is ready for Change. If we work together and trade with our neighbors, we can truly build the Longest Road.
Disheveled Tuxedo: Wear it and watch as snobs in normal tuxedo t-shirts gasp.McKinley High Mathletes: Perfect for freaks and or geeks.Helvetica: A slap in the typeface.Im Just Here for The Pizza: Perfect for any weddings and bar mitzvahs provided your wedding or bar mitzvah is held inside a pizzeria.
Second Is the Best: Third is the one with the hairy chest: Donkey Kong.Skynet: If computers are going to enslave us, they may as well be fast and reliable enslaving computers.Some Fear: Danger is my middle name. My first name is Einstein : I want to rock and roll all night, although time is relative.
Mole People: Prove us wrong, geologists. Prove us wrong.Sports: For the love of the gaming system.Ozymandias Was Right: The shirt Dr. Manhattan would wear, if Dr. Manhattan wore clothes.Obnoxious Political Opinion: Opinions are like a**holes: in politics there are a lot of them.
Dolphin Rider: This is either a Wave Race 64 reference, or our vision of a perfect world.FUCK YOU - YOURE IRISH FUCK YOU - YOURE IRISHNOT TONIGHT LADIES IM JUST HERE TO GET DRUNK NOT TONIGHT LADIES IM JUST HERE TO GET DRUNKSEX WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 74 PEOPLE LIKE THIS. SEX WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 74 PEOPLE LIKE THIS.
SLAVERY GETS SHIT DONE SLAVERY GETS SHIT DONEPOP A SMURF POP A SMURFI FUCKING LOVE TO CUDDLE I FUCKING LOVE TO CUDDLEDEMOCRATIC DONKEY (HEAD UP ITS ASS) DEMOCRATIC DONKEY (HEAD UP ITS ASS)
THIS T-SHIRT IS 100% ORGANIC THIS T-SHIRT IS 100% ORGANICBLING-BLINGFUCKING CLASSYI SHOULD BE IN THE KITCHEN
I DIDNT COME HERE TO IMPRESS NONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERSWHO NEEDS BIG TITS? WHEN YOU HAVE AN ASS LIKE THIS WHO NEEDS BIG TITS? WHEN YOU HAVE AN ASS LIKE THISGUESS HE CANT (BARACK OBAMA) GUESS HE CANT (BARACK OBAMA)MARSHMALLOW ROAST MARSHMALLOW ROAST
ME SO HOLY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME ME SO HOLY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIMEI TAKE THE THE OUT OF PSYCHOTHERAPIST I TAKE THE THE OUT OF PSYCHOTHERAPISTEVERY TIME YOU SEE A RAINBOW EVERY TIME YOU SEE A RAINBOWO.D. O.D.
IM HERE TO KILL YOU - NEXT TIME KEEP THAT CHAIN LETTER GOING IM HERE TO KILL YOU - NEXT TIME KEEP THAT CHAIN LETTER GOINGHOW DARE I WEAR THIS GODDAMN SHIRT HOW DARE I WEAR THIS GODDAMN SHIRTMARY WAS ONLY A VIRGIN IF YOU DONT COUNT ANAL MARY WAS ONLY A VIRGIN IF YOU DONT COUNT ANALCEREAL RAPIST CEREAL RAPIST
YOULL REGRET READING THIS SHIRT YOULL REGRET READING THIS SHIRTI SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMSASK ME ABOUT OUR BLOWJOBS FOR DRINKS PROGRAM ASK ME ABOUT OUR BLOWJOBS FOR DRINKS PROGRAMIVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH MIDGETS IVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH MIDGETS
FREE HUGS (WORLD CHAMPION SLUT HUGGER) FREE HUGS (WORLD CHAMPION SLUT HUGGER)I JUST SUPPORT FISH I JUST SUPPORT FISHHITLER WAS RIGHT - DONUTS ARE DELICIOUS! HITLER WAS RIGHT - DONUTS ARE DELICIOUS!ALICE IN CHAINS ALICE IN CHAINS
FUCK THE COLORBLIND FUCK THE COLORBLINDI BELIEVE IN HAPPY ENDINGS I BELIEVE IN HAPPY ENDINGSANIMAL SLAVERY STILL COOL ANIMAL SLAVERY STILL COOLSORRY LADIES THE SHIRT IS STAYING ON SORRY LADIES THE SHIRT IS STAYING ON
ILL BE USING THESE TO MY ADVANTAGE ILL BE USING THESE TO MY ADVANTAGEBAAAAAA MEANS NOOOOO I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT... THE ENVIRONMENT, POLITICS, THE HOMELESS I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT, POLITICS, THE HOMELESSHOBBES REVENGE
BITCH BETTA HAVE MY HUNNYSWALLOWSTALK NERDY TO MEUNCLE WITH BENEFITS UNCLE WITH BENEFITS
NOT AN ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF WHITE PEOPLEDISNEY ON ICETHE KERMIT DISSECTION IM WHAT WILLIS WAS TALKIN BOUT
I HOPE I DONT BLACK OUT, BECAUSE THIS IS AWESOMEHOW DO I BLOCK YOU IN REAL LIFE?THIS ORGY SURE IS OFF TO A SLOW STARTI DONT NEED 140 CHARACTERS TO SAY FUCK YOU
YES MY T-SHIRT DOES SAY FUCK ON IT....YOU CANT HAVE MANSLAUGHTER WITHOUT LAUGHTERHE LOVES THE COCKITS IRONY, YOU DUMB BITCH ITS IRONY, YOU DUMB BITCH
HAN JOB (HAN SOLO PRINCESS LEIA)I JUST KILLED A CLOWN I JUST KILLED A CLOWNI COULD USE A LITTLE SEXUAL HARASSMENTWHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME?
STOP CLUBBINGID RATHER BE SNORTING COCAINE OFF A HOOKERS ASSSTRAIGHTSUCK ALL YOU WANT, ILL MAKE MORE
DONT BOTHER ME - IM WASTING POTENTIALALSO AVAILABLE IN SOBER!!I PUT THE IN LAZYIM ALL FOR BEING SOCIAL BUT THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT IM ALL FOR BEING SOCIAL BUT THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT
MY LIFE IS A VERY COMPLICATED DRINKING GAME BITCHES AINT SHIT BUT HOES AND TRICKSI SHAVED MY BALLS FOR THIS?OK, BUT WASH IT FIRST
IF I WERE A DIRTY SKANK I WOULD HAVE A TATTOO JUST LIKE THIS ONE (TRAMP STAMP)I DRINK IN MODERATION - "MODERATION" IS AN IMAGINARY PLACE THAT EXISTS WHEREVER I AMWWJD FOR A KLONDIKE BARNATURAL REDHEAD
I BRING NOTHING TO THE TABLE TO WOMEN FROM GOD HOPELESS ROMANTIC SEEKS FILTHY WHOREI PUT THE CUTE IN EXECUTE
ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FIRES!YOU COULD SINGLE-HANDEDLY MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE - OR YOU COULD USE TWO HANDSI DIDNT BUY THIS SHIRT BECAUSE IT SAYS FUCK ON IT. I BOUGHT IT BECAUSE IT SAYS FUCK ON IT TWICE.ITS NOT PMS - ITS YOU
AM I STILL HERE? IM NOT A FULL BLOODED JEW - IM jewISH ITS 1620 SOMEWHERESWALLOW OR ITS GOING IN YOUR EYE
MEXICANTTHERE ARE TWO PEOPLE FUCKING ON THE BACK OF MY SHIRTGOD GETS ME WET GOD GETS ME WETBAD SAMARITAN
FUCK YE!03687 DAYS SINCE THE LAST TIME I GAVE A SHITREMINDER: BUY MORE BEERVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGINAS! VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGINAS!
IF I HAD BALLS THEY WOULD BE BIGGER THAN YOURS1f u c4n r34d th15 u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41dSAVE GAS - RIDE THE HANDICAPPEDWAL*MARX - ALWAYS CORPORATE GREED
IM THE ONE YOU GOTTA BLOW TO GET A DRINK AROUND HERE...AS A KITECANADIANS ARE EHHOLESSORRY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS LATER
I KNOW VIOLENCE ISNT THE ANSWER - I GOT IT WRONG ON PURPOSEANYONE NEED TO EARN MONEY FOR RENT? 420 - I DONT SMOKE POT GLUTEN FOR PUNISHMENT
PEZBIANSIF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT...THOUSANDS OF MY POTENTIAL CHILDRENHUNG HORSE
COULD YOU COME BACK IN A FEW BEERS?TOOL (NOT THE BAND, IM JUST A TOOL) ANY WAY WE CAN SPEED THIS UP?TRUE EVOLUTION
WORLDS GOODEST TEECHERMY MARXIST FEMINIST DIALECTIC BRINGSMOO (CHICKEN)VOTED MOST LIKELY TO TRAVEL BACK IN TIME CLASS OF 2057
ANTE, CHRISTNOT BRAD PITTCOWBELL HEROGO LOCAL SPORTS TEAM AND/OR COLLEGE
ATHEISTI MEET OR EXCEED EXPECTATIONSPLATYPUS OF DEATHPIMP
PURPLESTUBA HEROSELF-PARODYHEY YOU. YEAH, YOU. NO, NOT YOU
WORDS ON A SHIRT IV:XX YO WHERE MY KNICKERS AT? THIS IS MY CLONE
IS IT SOLIPSISTIC IN HERE, OR IS ITI STOLE THIS SHIRT FROM A HOMELESSI AM NOT AN AMBULANCEI HEART TRANSITIVE PICTOGRAPH
IM AN ANIMAL IN BEDPANCAKES THIS SHIRT DOESNT MAKE SENSE ANDJESUS LOVES YOU
ASK ME ABOUT MY COMPLETE LACK OF HOME SCHOOL VALEDICTORIANBASEBALL LETS FIGHT SOME BALLERINAS
PLAIN CLOTHES COPWHEN LIFE HANDS YOU: HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CITRIC ACID... MAKE LEMONADE80 MORE YEARS OF THIS SHIT?I CANT EVEN WALK YET AND I ALREADY HATE THE YANKEES
I ENJOY A GOOD SPANKINGDADDYS LIL SQUIRTKICKIN ASS & TAKIN NAPSI CAN KICK YOUR BABYS ASS
HUNG LIKE A FIVE YEAR OLDRECENTLY EVICTEDALL MOMMY WANTED WAS A BACKRUBDADDY DRINKS BECAUSE I CRY
TOO CUTE TO PLAY WITH YOUR UGLY ASS KIDPOOPING IN PROGRESSARE YOU MY DADDY?FUCK THE MILK
MY OTHER CAR SEAT IS IN A PORSCHEI SPENT 9 MONTHS IN THE HOLEPLAYGROUND PIMPBABY (NOT MIDGET) DO NOT TOSS